CU classic quotes

Feel free to use this page to record your nominations for the best Chundie quotes.

You may choose to add the context or not. Whatevs innit.


78 responses to “CU classic quotes”

  1. Sipech says :

    Bill says : January 31, 2014 at 11:29 am
    I don’t mind being pinned down. In fact, I’m willing to pay.

  2. xenium1 says :

    Fings mishears a Joe Jackson title: “It’s different for squirrels.”

  3. Sipech says :

    xenium1 says : February 28, 2014 at 5:23 pm
    There’s a five-foot torquoise parrot sitting on a bench outside my school, having a fag.

  4. Guido Fawkes says :

    Saturday’s Guardian ran a scathing attack piece criticising Oxford and Cambridge universities as representative of everything that is wrong with society. Although apparently Oxbridge “doesn’t matter“, Lucy Mangan reckons it is still “a tangible symbol of the subtle, pernicious, destructive system we live with and, by and large, accept“. Scroll down and online readers can lay their eyes upon perhaps the best comment in the history of the paper:

    Here’s the original comment:

  5. Sipech says :

    Bill says : March 19, 2014 at 6:19 am

    I’ve picked water cress at Muggington Bottoms.

  6. Sleepy Chow says :

    brusselsexpats says : April 8, 2014 at 11:45 am

    I can’t see the sausage…..

  7. Bill says :

    Leopold1904 → TheDogShouterer
    11 April 2014 5:49pm

    Now that scientists have successfully grown human genitals in the lab, when can we expect kits to be available in Boots?

    Its getting a bit much surely when you get offered Pussy in Boots

  8. fingsaint says :

    emma chisset says : May 27, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    Oh fuck, too quick for me, gah, etc etc 🙂

  9. fingsaint says :

    sorry classic quotes but it’s peg thing

  10. Sleepychowchow says :

    Tybo’s latest news on his Stornaway construction. 11th Nov. ’14:

    I also have a bike shed made of doors that doesn’t have a door for my punctured bike which doesn’t fit in it.

  11. fingsaint says :

    brusselsexpats says : December 1, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    by the time the festive season is over any passing sailor can have me

  12. fingsaint says :

    Bill says : January 16, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    I’ve just bought a parsnip. Just one. It’s over 12 inches long and the parsnip’s quite big as well. When I’ve washed the residual earth off it I shall build a rockery.

  13. Sleeps says :

    After a CU conversation about Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest health fad:

    Vaginas don’t need steam cleaning. They just need to have a woman in on a regular basis.

    From justamentalpatient. 29.1.15

  14. Sleeps says :

    ” if you put two other things together and come up with something new then that is fine”
    That’s very encouraging to me. Having retired, I have been thinking about a second career. I thought I might try my hand at being a rap artist.

    I will call myself “Itchy Hootah”.

    But I have two punk girl backing singers called Sal Volatile and Violent Elizabeth Bott.

    So I thought we could do a new fusion music, mixing Punk with Rap.


    Brought to you courtesy of chuckthechicken, 3.2.15

  15. Sleepychow says :

    After a failed TotP attempt wavypeasandgravy said,

    Are you laughing at my splonk or my testicles?

  16. fingsaint says :

    on CU’s 4th birthday (4.4.15) cyanbloo created this four candles masterpiece banner:

  17. Sleepychow says :

    Ah yes clocks, I suppose I should be rioting but I’m waiting for my John Lewis order

    I may venture out in circa an hour.

    Polly. 1.5.15

  18. Sleepychow says :

    emma chisset says : May 6, 2015 at 10:12 am

    morning folks,


    I tried watching Spanish Masterchef , but it was in a foreign language that i couldn’t understand.

    i’m voting ukip in the hope they’ll do something about it.

  19. Sleepychow says :

    May you all be as silly as you like for a very long time. You never know when the laughing may stop. Or when you may need to laugh and need all the laughsters.


  20. fingsaint says :

    Bill says : March 1, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    Diverse is Welsh poetry, of course.

  21. Sleepychow says :

    fiftyoneandabitmorenow says : July 4, 2016 at 7:36 pm

    I looked it up, apparently ^this^ is what is meant by a clusterfuck of cockwombles. 😉

  22. fingsaint says :

    Sleepychow says : August 17, 2016 at 11:32 am

    Maybe we should all try carrying dildoes in our mushes: Could be “a thing”.

    I bet they feel quite squishy.

  23. Sleepychow says :

    Tybo says : October 18, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    I was inoculated against the taste of blended whisky as a child by my father, who clung to the belief that the cure for everything was whisky until it killed him.

  24. Sleepychow says :

    A moving post by Tybo: March 3, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    I am not flagellating myself, honest! Indeed since I got the MA, which I had to pay for, I feel like I have sort of paid off a debt. I can actually date the moment I realised that I had been stupid and really acting like a spoiled brat by throwing away a free university education. Well to within a month.

    It was in Nicaragua in January 1986, I was picking coffee on a solidarity brigade and we made friends with these two guys, Pedro and Santos. They had their own bits of land but came up to pick coffee on the plantation to make a bit of extra cash. At night after a hard days work they would beg a bit of paper off us and use lamp light to practice their letters.

    They had been taught to read and write in the literacy brigades, which the Sandinistas launched after the revolution. Thousands of well educated kids went out into the country to teach campesinos literacy. it was so successful that Nicaragua went from having one of the highest levels of illiteracy in Latin America to one of the lowest, in a very short time.

    So watching these guys practising their precious writing skills made me re-think blowing a fully paid for, first world university education.

    So I give you Pedro and Santos. I will raise a glass to them in a bit and hope that they are doing well.

  25. Sleepychow says :

    Bill says : November 25, 2017 at 6:02 pm Edit

    I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it.

  26. fingsaint says :

    emmachisset says : April 22, 2018 at 8:33 am

    …….found myself absent minded ly clutching the mouse, staring hopefully at a blank screen.

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